Episode:Â 4
The Grief Episode – Turning Pain Into Purpose
With Layne Beachley, Tess Brouwer and Mitch Wallis
Listen on:
“Stop fixing. Start listening.”
This conversation sits where many of us are living right now: caring for kids and partners while also preparing to say goodbye to the people who raised us. Tess and Layne open with a real life audit, naming the season they are in as the sandwich generation. They invite guest Mitch Wallis (Heart On My Sleeve – mitchwallis.com) to help untangle grief with honesty and practical tools. You will hear why ambiguity makes grief so hard, how to “undensify” big feelings through presence, and why the most healing question is often the simplest: “What are you going to miss about your dad the most?” Together they model emotional regulation, co-regulation, and the courage to feel it to heal it, then close with a clear toolkit: “Stop fixing. Start listening.”
What you will learn
- How to run a quick life audit when you feel stretched on all sides
- Why uncertainty supercharges grief and how to find steadiness in it
- Simple body anchors from Mitch’s practice: “light, bright, tight, might”
- A supportive question that opens connection: “What are you going to miss about them the most?”
- How to balance pre-grieving with presence, so you do not wish away the time you still have
- Co-regulation basics for friends and leaders who want to help without rescuing
- Three tools to use today: feel it to heal it, breathing and grounding, stop fixing. start listening.
5 Key takeaways
- Name the season. Do a life audit.
“We encourage a lot of people to do life audits” and this episode starts with one. Naming the reality of the sandwich generation reduces shame and sets a shared frame for support. - Ambiguity is the real weight of grief. Mitch explains why the brain craves certainty and how daily unknowns create waves. Use presence to “undensify” the moment and return to what you can hold right now.
- Anchor in the body to regulate.
Mitch’s quick reset: “light, bright, tight, might.” Light softens the belly, bright opens the chest, tight gathers attention behind the eyes, might grounds healthy power in the pelvis. - Ask better questions. Hold loving space.
The most healing prompt in this chapter is, “What are you going to miss about your dad the most?” Lead with care, not fixes. As Mitch puts it, “Stop fixing. Start listening.” - Feel it to heal it. Share the load.
Grief stores in the nervous system until it is felt and released. Choose safe expression: breathing, crying, journal dumping, drawing, grounding in nature. Co-regulate with someone you trust.
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Disclaimer
The A Wake Up Call podcast is created for general informational, educational, and inspirational purposes only. The stories, tools, and insights shared are designed to support your wellbeing journey - not to replace professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. In fact, we believe therapy is non-negotiable in life.
If you’re experiencing a medical or mental health condition, please seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional. Never ignore or delay seeking professional advice because of something you’ve heard on this podcast.
Your wellbeing matters. Take care of yourself, stay curious, and remember the real wake-up call is listening to what your body and mind are trying to tell you.
